Which Outfit Goes Best With Jaundice?

I haven't felt well for a couple weeks now. Since Thanksgiving weekend. I figured it was something I ate, then I thought it was a stomach bug. A couple people who knew about it all asked if I was pregnant. Absolutely not. So this past Thursday after I got out of the shower I looked in the mirror and got a little scared. I called Nate into the bedroom and I asked him if my skin and eyes look yellow to him. He kinda made fun but quickly stopped when he said "Umm...yeah, you're yellow." And then the fun began.

That day I went to just a general doctor who threw every scary possibilities at me (including pancreatic cancer) and took some tons of blood. Then he sent me for an abdominal ultra sound to check for "blockages" which of course made me think they were going to find all kinds of tumors and I was going to die (the doctor actually was hoping for a gall stone stopping up my plumbing). Nothing. Ultra sound was clean except for a "slight" inflammation of my liver and spleen. So Friday I went to a gastro guy who once again took my history and ordered more blood tests. And then an MRI of my abdomen on Monday.

I'm not a claustrophobic person...but that MRI tube gave me some anxiety. And I left there once again feeling like they were going to see something awful. Nope. Clean. What to do, what to do? How about more needles? But let's make a big one. So Tuesday, I had a liver biopsy done. "Don't worry," the nurse at my doctor's office said "It sounds scary but they'll sedate you. You won't know what's going on. You'll just need to have someone there to drive you."

Liar.

They most certainly do not sedate you before shoving a large needle into your troublesome liver. And honestly it wasn't too terrible. But they SHOULD sedate you before sending in the socially awkward nurse to attempt THREE TIMES to start an IV. She eventually gave up (after bruising me in all three places) and someone else - much more friendly - came in and got it on the first try. Just start with him next time. So they did the biopsy and I was sent off to recovery to lay still for two hours with Nate to keep me company (who refused to give me my phone to play with).

No joke, I look like I've taken a position
at Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory.

So at this point it was about 3:30 in the afternoon and I'd had nothing to eat all day (finally had something to drink when I got to recovery and it was the best tasting ginger ale I've ever had!). The very sweet nurse was going to bring me some graham crackers but on second thought brought me the hospital menu and ordered me a sandwich. I went with grilled cheese thinking it would be easy to eat from the above position. I wasn't sure how my stomach would handle it but I took one look at it and it was gone in about 3.2 seconds. I was starving. After that I was discharged and took yesterday off as well to rest up. I'm not allowed to lift anything over 20 pounds - and that includes Grant - for 5 days. On the off chance my liver decides to spring a leak. 

This morning it was more blood work and tomorrow another follow up with the gastro guy. Next week I go to Chapel Hill to see another specialist who, I'm told, should have my biopsy results. The doc seems to be leaning toward a virus but it apparently could be related to medication or an autoimmune thing. They've ruled out the big bad stuff so we're all very relieved about that.

 Regardless of the outcome, I will be very glad to have this all over with (I'm so tired of needles)! It's put a huge kink in all my Christmas plans (and my Christmas baking!)